October Flash Fiction #5 - Made At Home

“…the cook took the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby—the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes.  The Duchess took no notice of them even when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.”  Alice in Wonderland, Chapter 6

Reg tried to stifle the sneeze, but it exploded out of him anyway.  “Pepper got in my nose,” he offered lamely in the face of Ina’s monumental glower.  Then he caught sight of Lisa’s face and wished he had said anything else.  “The soup is perfect, darling,” he added, hoping it was enough to keep the tears from spilling over.

“I would have added more salt,” Ina said.  Reg’s mother-in-law could never agree that anything was perfect unless she herself had done it.

“Let me pass it to you,” he said.  He would have liked to hurl the heavy silver salt and pepper set right at Ina’s head, but he’d probably miss.  Worse, he might actually hit her and dent the shakers Lisa had spent so long polishing.

“Oh, no,” Ina protested.  “It’s fine.”  Of course, it wasn’t fine.  Nothing ever was for Ina.  She thought Lisa should cut her hair.  She made fun of Lisa’s work as an entomologist.  Clearly, she thought that Lisa could and should have done better in the husband department.

“I saw Wedge the other day,” Ina said.

Here we go, thought Reg.

Lisa swallowed her mouthful of soup.  “And I’m sure he wanted to tell you again how much fun he had all those years ago with the canoe.  Creepy old man.”

Ina set down her spoon with exaggerated care.  “That was a beautiful summer.  You and your sisters were so good and lovely.”

“And now we’re not,” Lisa said.

“I didn’t say that,” Ina protested.

“You didn’t have to.”

There was silence through the rest of the soup.  Lisa would not let Reg help clear the bowls or serve the roast and vegetables, the fluffy potato soufflé.  He babbled about his work at the university, about the local sports teams, about some gossip he’d heard about the town’s public transit budget, inserting compliments about the food as often as possible until Lisa had pushed her food around her plate long enough.  She cleared everything away again before bringing out the Victoria sponge and the silver tea service.

At last, Ina swept herself out.  Lisa flung every single pot and pan in the kitchen at the closed door and burst into tears.

Reg sat on the floor holding her awkwardly as she sobbed, “There was not too much pepper.”