Schooled

One of the things I like about picking up T. from school is the time to talk.  The stereotype of the silent teen was clearly not based on either of my kids; the challenge is getting a word in edgewise sometimes, particularly when they are together.  (Yes, Syd is not a teen anymore, but the point stands.)

I learn things.  They have invented a lot of physics since I took it last.  I have forgotten a lot of math.  And a lot of adults remain stupid.  (I just heard the voice of one of my younger friends admonishing me that stupid is not a nice word.  Sorry, Sofia.  It is the true word.)

This week is C.A.R.E. week at school.  I don’t know what the acronym stands for, but it is supposed to be a tolerance-promoting, bullying-prevention kind of thing.  They held an assembly yesterday.  T. came home furious, “ready to spit bile,” as he said.

At the assembly, students had the opportunity to share about experiences of bullying.  Someone talked about seeing someone repeatedly pick on another person and finally deciding to say something.  The facilitators said that that might not have been the best way to handle the situation.  They said that the student in question would have to consider the cost of stepping in.

What?

All actions have costs.  Presumably, the student spent time considering the cost before realizing that he or she couldn’t just stand by and watch anymore.  That person made a decision to stand up.  That decision is the one I personally would like to see more people choose.  That is what I want to see students, teachers, parents, friends, community members, and everyone else choose.  I want the cultural shift to occur that makes picking on people something no one can get away with and keep their friends.

None of us needs to be encouraged to go along.  We have plenty of pressure on all of us to put up with bad behavior, to tolerate abuses of power or plays for power.  I’m not saying we should throw a parade for the student who did the right thing—that’s what we’re supposed to do—but some encouragement for choosing well seems like what a program with the aims of C.A.R.E. should do.