Rainbow

One time when Syd was little, we went out to eat with friends, including another kid of Syd’s age.  Syd’s friend was unusually quiet while they were coloring and his mom asked him about what was going on.  He said he was being a yellow crayon because yellow crayons don’t show up.

I have spent a lot of my life being the yellow crayon.

I can give lots of reasons for my yellow crayon-ness.  I was raised female, for one, by a pretty seriously traditional mom.  I have a fear of abandonment, which makes me somewhat conflict-averse.  And there are plenty of times that I seem more yellow crayon-y than I am because in many circumstances I have no strong opinion on what to do or what to eat or where to go; I like lots of things and am easily pleased.  I don’t plan on changing that last part.

It is time, however, to experience more of the rainbow.  Sometimes I need to show up.

Deep breath.

I am appalled at the hate and violence running rampant in our culture right now.  I am tired of reading about murders and rapes and hate crimes.  People should not be dying because of their color or creed or orientation or gender or gender identity.  People should not be killing each other over those things.  People should not be inciting people to violence over those things.  I am not a particularly politically-minded person, but there are candidates out there pushing agendas that are flat wrong and I will not be silent and let that ride.

That’s the negative side.  I will also be showing up for the positive side.  I want to stand up for love, for kindness, for inclusion.  I want to stand up for the common good, the bigger picture.  I believe in both knowledge and wisdom, science and the stuff that is beyond science.  I stand for a clean environment, personal responsibility, and societal good behavior.

In practical terms, maybe not that much will be different.  I will still love people whose opinions differ from mine; I just may be a little more forward with my differences.  I will show more colors, but I don’t intend to scribble over anybody else’s colors.  Maybe I will look good as a rainbow.